If you make a gif of Lucifer almost licking John's ear, I'll... oh god. I will truly love you. (or a gif set, since he's actually on his way twice. Second time when he whispers in his ear and takes out John's cancer)
I’M TALKING WITH MY HUBBY AND SO FAR WE’VE COME TO NEO MAKING LOVE TO MORPHEUS WHILE TRINITY IS WATCHING IN SHOCK, NEO FALLING IN LOVE WITH A MOUSE AND SCARING HIM AWAY AND THEN SERENADING HIM WITH A MASH-UP CONSISTING OF HIS RELEVANT SONG, LIGHTS OUT BY BREAKING BENJAMIN AND SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, US MEETING IN PERSON AND MAKING EVERYONE RUN AWAY IN PANIC WHILE WE TRACK DOWN KEANU AND KEEP HIM IN A BOX WHILE WE TOUCH HIS FACE AND HIS HAIR JSDJSDLFSKLDHGFSD WE ARE SOULM8S TO THE MAX I SWEAR.
Matea Logan says: OH LAWD I LOVE YOUR PERSONAL SO MUCH RIGHT NOW AKJHEKLHDSHSAD Neo says: WHY O_O Matea Logan says: Morpheus and Neo should make love in front of Trinity KJHDSFLKHSLFHSL Neo says: LMFAO YES Matea Logan says: YOU ARE A GENIOUS Neo says: YES THEY SHOULD OK KHSFJSJHFKJDF OMG LIKE LIKE WHEN TRIN KISSES HIM AND NEO WAKES UP AND SHE’S SMILING, RIGHT CAUSE SHE LOVES HIM AND NEO’S JUST GOING TO WHISPER, SOFTLY ”… you’re not the one.” AND THEN HER EXPRESSION WILL BREAK AND NEO’S JUST GOING TO GET OUT OF THE CHAIR AND TO HIS ROOM AND SLEEP. Matea Logan says: ON TOP OF MORPEUS Neo says: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD Matea Logan says: MORPHEUS* Neo says: I NEED TO WRITE THIS OH MY GOD JUST IMAGINING HIM SLIDING INTO MORPHEUS’S BED AND HE JUST HOLDS HIM AND MORPHEUS DOESN’T EVEN ASK BECAUSE HE /KNOWS/ OMG AHJSDBJHSKDJFDJ Matea Logan says: LUBE ON THE NIGHT STAND…. OH MY GOD WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING Neo says: ……………..MATEA MATEA I LOVE YOU Matea Logan says: WE’RE SICK PUPPIES YOU KNOW THAT Neo says: THE LUBE IS MOUSE’S TASTY WHEAT AKSJFSBKGSHJKDJJSF Matea Logan says: OH MY GOD AKLHAKHASDKFHASDFLH Neo says: SHIT SHIT SHIT ITS HEALTHY LUBE OMG Matea Logan says: JESUS TAKE THE WHOLE VEHICLE ASKLJHFKLDSHK Neo says: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG NOW I NEED TO WRITE MORPHEO PORN OH GOD Matea Logan says: IT’S NOT EVEN A FIC ANYMORE IT’S KINKY PORN
Title: What’s That? Fandom: Constantine (2005 movie-verse) Pairing: John/Chas pre-slash Word Count: 832 Summary: John just wanted to know, really.
It’s as Chas opens his mouth to put a stick of licorice in that John notices it, eyes honing onto the spot right at the tip of his tongue. Admittedly, the view could be better—the rearview mirror in Chas’s borrowed taxi cab wasn’t nearly as good as seeing something eye-to-eye—but John’s absolutely certain he’d noticed something off. It isn’t very weird, given the fact that he’s dealt with a plethora of demonic entities, but it still manages to make him fumble with his lighter for a few heartbeats. For that, he’s thankful that Chas is a good driver who keeps his eyes on the road.
"What’s that?" John finally asks, just as he lights the tip of his cigarette. Chas makes a little ‘hm?’ in response, but then that quickly turns into a frustrated groan. "Constantine, I told you not to smoke in my cab," Chas replies, but John isn’t satisfied with this quip in the least. He takes a drag off his cigarette, keeping it in-between his index and middle finger as he removes it from his lips. "What’s that?” he repeats, perhaps a little more peeved, smoke drifting from his mouth and rising to the roof of the cab.
Chas makes a noise like he’s in a horror movie. “John, if my cab smells like smoke again, my boss is going to kill me!” he exclaims, expertly driving the cab to the side of the road and turning on the safety lights. The backlights blink orange. John rolls his eyes and blows smoke into the cab again, just to spite him.
"I’m going to ask this one more time, kid," John mutters, leaning back into his seat, the cigarette held lazily between his fingers. "What. Is. That?”
Chas frowns, hastily rolling his window down and reaching over to do the same with the passenger’s side. “What’s what? The smoke? Oh, I don’t know, it might have something to do with the fact that you’re smoking in my cab again, Constantine,” he answers, none-too-amused.
John leans forward and presses the lit end of his cigarette to Chas’s face.
Chas’s yelling of ‘what the fuck?!’ makes a few passersby stop in their tracks and look in the direction of the cab. John seems mostly satisfied, and he tosses the cigarette out of Chas’s window.
"My sentiments exactly. What the fuck is on your tongue?”
Chas is rubbing at his cheek and muttering about crazy employers, though he manages to at least turn his head and look at John, who has both hands on the headrests of the front seats and is leaning forward. “Tastebuds?” Chas mutters, though both can sense the sarcasm in those two syllables. John ends up rolling his eyes and getting out of the cab only to switch into the passenger seat. This is the first time that he’s ever sat in front, and so Chas is considerably surprised; though he attempts to steel his emotions. It isn’t working very well.
"Stick your tongue out."
"Just stick your fucking tongue out, kid.”
Making sure to show John a pout before following orders, he does as he’s told, and John’s eyes zero in to a small, metallic ball at the end of Chas’s tongue. He purses his lips, index finger lifting to give the piercing a poke. Chas flinches, quickly allowing the muscle to retreat back into his mouth as he looks away hastily. “Wh-What the hell was that?” he asks, cheeks lighting up, the shakiness in his voice making John feel a little satisfied. Certainly, however, that’s not to be spoken out-loud.
"You got a tongue piercing," John observes intelligently.
"And now it’s going to be infected because you touched it with your cigarette fingers," Chas mutters indignantly.
John ignores the complaint and lets out a low hum of appreciation.
"Why?" he asks, in perfect imitation of his apprentice. Chas doesn’t seem to notice the resemblance, and looks noticeably bothered by the question. "Because I wanted to," he answers, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into his seat, looking out the window.
There’s a comfortable silence between the both of them, with Chas looking away and John tracing the line of the boy’s jaw from behind. A tongue piercing. And it’s a cute little ball, too. Finally, John leans back as well, and somehow the message between the two of them for the car to start moving again is passed, and Chas begins the drive. John doesn’t bother with putting on his seatbelt. Surprisingly, when he pushes his hand into his trenchcoat and takes out the pack of cigarettes, Chas doesn’t seem to mind.
"It makes you look more cute than sexy," John says, at an intersection. Chas messes up with the wheel and the horn blows for a good ten seconds straight.
Needless to say, Chas’s boss was more bothered with the overall condition of the car than the smell of smoke when Chas returned it at the end of the day.